


Four-ish Attempts At Impressing Eren During "First Time" Milestones That Result In Utter Failure... And The One Time Jean Doesn’t Try But Manages To Not F**k Up

by DeathsLastPrayer



Series: A Series of Unrelated Events Starring Jean x Eren [9]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gift Fic, M/M, cheesy romantic comedy sort of thing going on, loved these ideas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:38:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4538325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathsLastPrayer/pseuds/DeathsLastPrayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which: the title says it all!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four-ish Attempts At Impressing Eren During "First Time" Milestones That Result In Utter Failure... And The One Time Jean Doesn’t Try But Manages To Not F**k Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marmyte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmyte/gifts).



> This story is a part of a quad of gift fics for four of the best people I know in this fandom. This first one is for [Marmar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmyte/pseuds/Marmyte)! Her request is all summed up in the title and, hopefully, I pulled it off!

* * *

##### 

I. 

* * *

The first time he meets Eren is a disaster and, really, it sort of sets the tone for every “first” time thereafter but not for the reasons that some people might assume. 

Jean looks back and pegs their first meeting a total bust. 

A failure. 

It still surprises him that Eren agreed to a date after that initial botch of meeting (more surprising that they keep going out thereafter). But they’re still together and things don’t look like they’ll be ending anytime soon (quite the contrary). 

But recollections of that first meeting have a way of making him inwardly cringe. 

How they meet goes a bit like this: Drunk Jean sees Eren at the other end of the bar grinning from ear to ear and talking with his hands even though he has a beer gripped by the neck. He’s telling some story that must be really good because the girl leaning beside him with her hands wrapped around the waist of a petite blond is laughing from the gut –head thrown back and everything. There’s also a slew of other people surrounding him and laughing and adding to some story that Jean can only imagine but he wants to be over there because (in the mind of drunk Jean) Eren is sexiest person he’s ever seen in his life. Ever. He’s fucking gorgeous with those intense teal eyes and that wicked upturn of lips that’s so contagious, Jean is stupidly grinning and he doesn’t even know why. 

It’s Sasha who catches him staring. 

She smiles and she’s tipsy and Connie and Marco went out for a smoke so there’s no rational person there to stop the inebriation fueled plan that they concoct. (Which is the reason Jean makes the worst first impression in the world but drunk Jean didn’t think it’d be that bad.) 

Anyway, she orders a vodka-cranberry and tells Jean to sip it and walk over and offer to buy the guy a drink. Easy enough. Except, Jean stumbles his way over, trips over some guy’s foot (later, he finds out that he trips over Reiner), and his drink splashes down the front of Eren’s white-white shirt. 

In that moment, he swears the entire bar falls into this unbearable hush. 

But, drunk or not, Jean’s a quick thinker –has a quick and sharp tongue. So he manages to get out, “I’m so fucking sorry. I- I tripped and- fuck! Lemme just-” His sentence tappers out under that heated blue-green gaze. Well- fuck. 

And then the unexpected happens because the girl –the blond wrapped up in the arms of that dark-haired girl (who turns out to be an honest to goodness angel sent down from the heavens) giggles and grabs for paper towels before saying, “You’re so bad at wearing white, Ere.” 

Eren sighs and glances away from Jean to take the paper towels. He stands up from the bar stool and he’s so close that Jean can smell the liquor on his breath when he turns his head to say, “I was so close too. Almost made it through the whole day.” 

Next thing Jean knows, he’s being dragged to the bathroom and standing there while Eren tugs off his shirt to run it under the faucet and his mind wants to focus on that. It really does. But he can’t stop staring at the sleek curve of that spine or the tramp stamp that teases from just beneath the hem ho tight skinny jeans and- 

“I think you owe me a shirt.” 

When he snaps back to reality, Eren’s standing up and leaning against the sink with his shirt off and- fuck the world! His nipples are pierced and drunk Jean has the overwhelming urge to suck them but he’s drunk so he just mutters an unintelligible, “Huh?” 

Eren laughs (makes Jean’s blood catch fire) before pointing at Jean’s black button up. “You owe me a shirt and I think it’s only fair if we trade.” 

Drunk Jean sees no problem with that at all so he unbuttons his shirt and hands it over without question. Which is definitely a good thing because he recognizes lust easily and Eren- Eren must like what he sees with the way he stares and clucks his tongue before winking and saying, “nice.” Whether that’s for the shirt or for him, Jean’s not sure. 

Not that it matters because he’s too distracted with watching those hands button up _his_ shirt. There is something fundamentally sexy about seeing someone that he wants to fuck in _his_ clothes- 

“I’m gonna give you my number and, when you get me a new shirt, just call. We can trade back.” Eren steps close, crowds Jean’s space and smiles wickedly, “Maybe over dinner or something.” 

Jean feels a hand in his back pocket and then it’s gone. 

So is Eren. 

But that’s how they meet for the first time and Jean hates recalling it because he’s usually so smooth when it comes to picking people up. So fucking smooth. But he botches it and, furthermore, Eren’s the one that ends up picking him up and he has no idea how that happens. 

Turns out to be the best thing, which, maybe Sasha was onto something. 

Drunk or not. 

Nevertheless, that incident isn’t the first or last time he tries to be all suave or woo Eren and utterly fails. 

* * *

##### 

II. 

* * *

If their first meeting is a disaster then their first date is a full on calamity. 

He ends up calling the number on the business card that Eren tucked into his back pocket after three days and Eren agrees to being repaid in the form of dinner. Even tells Jean to surprise him. 

Jean spends the rest of the week planning and trying to make it semi-perfect. Trying to redeem himself because he’s not usually the stupid clumsy drunk at the bar. He’s absolutely not that guy. So he has to redeem himself. Which isn’t really hard because Jean doesn’t half-ass anything when it comes to impressing people. He’s smart, well connected, has a job that gives him six figures a year, and he’s so put together that he puts Legos to shame. Surprising Eren on their first “date” should be a walk in the park. 

Should be. 

It isn’t. 

What happens: He offers to pick Eren up from work, which is probably the only good choice he makes that day because he gets to see Eren in a three-piece and Eren looks edible in a suit with his hair slicked back and parted on the side. Abso-fucking-lutely edible. That’s when Jean finds out that Eren’s a junior partner at a big name law firm that represents world class corporations, hence the business card. When they first met, Jean would have never pegged the guy with a tramp stamp and nipple piercings as upper crust elite (not that that makes him more or less appealing because Eren is gorgeous) but that just goes to show how first appearances are deceiving. 

Whatever the case, they drive and talk and flirt and Jean’s in his element. Feels crazy lucky because he hits the jackpot when he spilt his drink all over Eren. 

He really does (mentally, he thanks Sasha for her bad idea and makes a note to treat her to something in the near future). 

So they chat and he parks and they laugh and debate and laugh some more on the short walk to the restaurant but, when they get there, Eren frowns. 

Frowns and stares and then blushes and looks at Jean apologetically- “I probably should’ve mentioned this but, seafood is a no go. I’m allergic. Like, I get all red and blotchy and itchy, which is so fucking annoying…” He trails off and glances away. 

But Jean doesn’t blame Eren because- of course. Of course Eren is fucking allergic. And, when Jean considers it, seafood is the worst idea. It’s not something that everyone likes and it’s definitely one of those things that a substantial amount of people are allergic to these days. 

Fuck. 

Second meeting, second flop. 

Lady luck hates him, he’s sure. And he’s willing to continue that train of thought but then, Eren is pulling his hand and making him walk and they’re downtown on a Friday so they’re walking close and trying to avoid people- 

“Look, this one’s on me. I should’ve told you that I can’t do seafood. But I know a place not too far from here and they make the best steaks… They have seafood too if you want it. But,” Eren glances at Jean from beneath thick lashes (makes Jean swallow and forget his momentary ire). “But if you’re aiming for a kiss goodnight, I wouldn’t advise it.” 

That makes Jean’s heart sputter and shuts down his mind. How he manages to get to out, “I’ll take your advice into consideration, counselor.” 

It’s enough to make Eren laugh and spark up a conversation after that. 

In retrospect, all of their “firsts” were a total tragedy. 

All of them. 

* * *

##### 

III. 

* * *

One month in and Jean is so ready to drag Eren up to his apartment. Beyond ready. Bursting at the seams with contemplation for the idea. On one hand, he wants to be a gentleman. Not a hard thing to do because he is and Eren makes him want to be or do his best. Has him looking forward to outdoing himself from one date to the next. And he’s never dated someone who keeps him on his toes –keeps him anticipating the next call, the next text, the next face-to-face… 

But Eren… 

Eren’s incredible. 

Brilliant. Gorgeous. Awe-inspiring. Wise. Argumentative. Cute. Quick tempered. Quick witted. Funny. Modest. Empathetic. Sexy. Confident. 

Eren is so fucking incredible. 

And Jean doesn’t want to fuck up what they have, which is a possibility if he gives into temptation. Gives in to Eren who’s coy and clever and seductive. See, the way he looks at it, he always jumps into bed too quick and the allure always ends up fading and then he lets the relationship naturally fizzle. That’s the complete opposite of what he wants to happen with Eren. Thus, he’s been holding off on taking those lip numbing and mind altering kisses any further than a front seat or apartment entrance. 

Except, Eren is so over waiting. 

Jean can tell when Eren parks his car at the back of Jean’s building and he only gives Jean three seconds before he’s reaching across the console and hungrily nipping and sucking at lips and chin and jaw before just climbing across the cramped space and straddling Jean’s lap and- “I want to suck your cock. Been thinkin’ about it for weeks. Wanna do it right now,” he breaths that lofty sentence in between quick, teasing kisses. 

“Fucking hell…” Jean groans low in his throat because that- _that_ makes him hard in an instant and he can’t help gripping at trim hips while tilting his head to catch that greedy mouth. Fuck if he doesn’t want the same thing. But. 

But not in a car. 

Not the first time. 

He’s not a brat anymore and he’s sure Eren deserves better. “My place,” He mumbles against Eren’s tongue before grazing his own against teeth… makes Eren’s entire body quiver. Jean can’t deal, “Gotta- my place.” 

“Okay. Alright. Fuck.” Eren snags his keys from the ignition and opens Jean’s door before climbing out. He bounces on his heels impatiently as Jean slides out and shuts the door. 

Jean grabs Eren’s hand and pulls him along but pauses to push him up against the door so that he can lick at plush pink lips –samples what he’s been dreaming about since the night they met. Eren’s hands slide up his chest, his neck, tangle in his hair as fingers graze his scalp and Jean’s having a hard time thinking past wild ocean hued corneas and the mouth whispering dirty promises against his lips. From the more vulgar taunts of, “Gonna let you fuck my throat” to the sensual promises of, “can’t wait to get you inside of me, fuck” and Jean is breaking apart. Cracked into a million pieces. 

Fuck. 

He wedges a knee between Eren’s legs, listens to a strangled gasp and presses his mouth to a thundering pulse- “You have no idea how much I want this. Want you.” He’s trying so hard to find his door key. Trying and failing. 

Definitely not concentrating because- Eren. Fucking Eren. _Fucking_ Eren. 

Damn it. 

“Hey you!” There’s a pause and then foot steps before, “You two by the door!” 

Jean pauses to glance over his shoulder and- yes. They are being stared at by two nosey cops and- fuck. Definitely a boner killer, that’s for sure. He stares at Eren –Eren who’s lips are wet and puffy and his face is flush and his eyes are so dark… fuck. He still looks edible. But it’s not the time so Jean steps back and turns to acknowledge the assholes who ruined a good thing. “Something we can help you with?” 

“What are you two doing by this door?” 

Eren scowls and runs his fingers through his hair. “The fuck does it look like we were doing.” That tone gives it away. Tells Jean that Eren’s already at 100 percent anger and Jean can’t blame him. “We’re not breaking a fucking law so you can leave us the hell alone.” 

The bigger cop matches Eren’s frown with one of his own and then he points his flashlight right in Jean’s face, “That’s to be determined. Do either of you live here?” 

“I do.” Jean takes Eren’s hand, grips it and runs his thumb over knuckles. Hope it helps to calm Eren down a few notches but doubts it will. 

“Show us some ID.” 

Eren yanks his hand back and snarls, “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over with-” Jean pauses because he realizes something at that very moment: he couldn’t find his keys because they’re not on him. Neither is his wallet. “Fuck!” He pats his pants again and- damn it to hell. He must have left them in the car or at the restaurant- 

“ID. Now.” 

“I- um… Look, we just got back from dinner and I must’ve left my shit at the restaurant-” 

“Mhmm… alright, hands up.” 

“Oh fuck this. I know my rights and we haven’t done anything wrong, unless you shits are just bigoted assholes and you’re arresting us because you’ve never seen two men kiss before.” 

“Hands up or I’m going to have to mace you, sir.” 

Eren complies but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You fuckers are gonna regret this.” 

For some reason, Jean believes that Eren will keep good on that threat. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

Trespassing is the fucked up charge that gets issued. 

In one hour, it’s thrown out because Eren makes one call and the shit hits the fan after that. See, Jean finds out that Eren’s adoptive dad is Erwin Smith –Governor, Erwin Smith. Low and behold, the governor doesn’t take too kindly to being dragged out of bed at two in the morning but he especially doesn’t like the fact that his (grown) kid’s civil liberties have been violated so he shows up pissed but that’s only the beginning. 

By the time they get out, Jean just wants to go to sleep and forget the bullshit. 

“It could’ve been a worse night.” 

Jean runs his hand over his face and still manages to smile. He has the absolute worst fucking luck when it comes to breaching milestones with Eren. It’s not even a surprise that the first time they even make an attempt at sex, it ends in utter failure. Story of his motherfucking life. 

“I’m sorry about tonight.” Eren sits down beside him on the bench, their knees touching. “Ignorance just really rubs me the wrong way and then my mouth starts to run-” 

“It’s fine.” When Jean finally stares at Eren, he’s mildly surprised to see that light sheen of vermillion spread across tan cheeks. There’s that sweet side that he adores. And it makes him run his hand up Eren’s neck and pull him close for a quick kiss. “It’s not your fault that those cops were assholes. Besides, I like it when your mouth starts to run.” 

Eren laughs, tips his head to mouth at Jean’s bottom lip. He can’t help kissing the corner of Jean’s mouth before he pulls away. “Next time we go out, I’ll make good on all of those promises from earlier, yeah.” 

Well… their second attempts always end up incredible so Jean looks forward to it. 

* * *

##### 

IV. 

* * *

By this point, Jean just expects every first attempt at anything in his relationship with Eren to turn sour. Six months of a relationship with the same “first time” results has created a duly noted pattern. A pattern that Jean can’t ignore. That’s why he just goes with it and knows that all major “firsts” will go terribly. It’s probably his punishment for being such an asshole when he was younger –for fucking everything that moved and then fucking those people over. Yes. He’s being punished. 

Karma is a bitch. 

But he’ll roll with the punches and take his round of karma like a man. 

So, formally meeting Eren’s closest friends for the first time… it will be a tumultuous affair. 

The opposite of Eren meeting his people. See, Eren has that whole _lawyer swag_ thing on his side. He knows how to work a crowd by just being himself and he has so many stories… and then he’s attentive and listens and- And Eren is a people person who draws attention with this crazy charismatic radiance that makes people fall in love. 

That’s one of the things that Jean loves about Eren but it’s also cause for a jealousy that he attempts to stifle- 

“Jean!” 

“Yeah, babe?” 

“C’mere!” 

Jean drags himself off the couch and towards Eren’s bedroom. He leans in the doorway for a bit, honey brown eyes studying that beautiful, lithe body. Jean knows every inch of Eren –from his head to his toes. Has mapped that flesh with tongue and teeth and hands. Branded it. Just seeing the purpling bite marks on Eren’s left hip, near his naval, his chest, his neck… Pale lips twitch into a wicked smirk as Jean moves close. Wraps his arms around Eren’s damp waist and props his chin on the shoulder before kissing beneath the ear. “What’s up?” 

“If we weren’t already late, I’d get you up.” 

Jean chuckles and moves away lest he’s tempted. “If that’s not the case, why’d you call me in here?” 

“I figured I’d give you fair warning about this whole thing. I mean, you know Armin and Mikasa already because they’re family, yeah. But, I think you’ve only heard about the others in passing and most of ‘em come with warnings.” 

“Warnings? Like what? Don’t feed and don’t pet?” 

Eren laughs as he walks over to his closet. “Something like that.” He fishes out a black long sleeve and pulls it over his head. “I’ll tell you right now, Ymir is a bitch and she takes a lot of getting used to. I love her but she has absolutely no filter.” 

“The female version of you then?” Jean ducks the deodorant aimed at his head. 

“Worse. She says whatever’s on her mind however it forms in her mind and she doesn’t give a shit. But, if she likes you, she likes you. If not, well… Just get Krista on your side and she’ll keep Ymir in line. Krista is Ymir’s girlfriend by the way.” 

Jean hums and leans back on his elbows (he loves watching Eren get dressed just about as much as he likes watching him strip down to nothing). “So the trick is to impress Krista first.” 

“You could say that. But, okay. There’s also Reiner and he’s… rough around the edges but he’s a good guy. Loyal and rowdy and funny and bulky. A bit of a lush that talks way too much when he’s drunk but- But he’s a good guy. The only thing is, he and I kind of had this thing before I started dating you.” 

That makes Jean sit up –makes his eyes narrow and his lip purse to the side. “Wait… wait, wait, wait… This Reiner guy is your ex?” 

Eren’s fully dressed now, which is a good thing because, if he weren’t, he’d be down for some quick, reassurance-sex. Instead, he settles on walking over to Jean and easing between parted thighs as he stares down into topaz eyes- “Not my ex. I’ve known him since high school but we started fucking around after I finished my four year… it wasn’t anything serious. Just sex… between friends who live in the same city.” 

“And when did you stop the whole ‘just sex between friends’ thing?” 

Eren bites his lip. Not a good sign. “The day you called me and asked me to dinner.” 

There’s silence as Jean processes that bit of information and then- “Are you fucking serious?” When Eren steps back Jean stands and paces and- and he’s trying to think clearly and rationally but he can’t. 

“Jean, it’s not as bad as it-” 

“The hell it isn’t. I don’t want to meet your fucking ex, Eren.” 

“He’s not my ex-” 

Jean stops. Stares, “Then what’s your definition of an ex, huh? Because, you know, it’s not limited to just a boyfriend or girlfriend in my book.” 

Eren sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Then, I’ve never felt romantically inclined to be with him. It was just sex. And then I met you.” He walks close and fills Jean’s space, grips at strong shoulders. “I met you –fell in love with you when I wasn’t even looking.” He pushes up against Jean to lightly whisper against those lips, “I love _you_ , Jean.” 

Jean folds under those four words because he really is a sap and a sucker for Eren telling him just that much and the way his name falls from between those lips… pure sin. So he can’t help nipping at them before kissing them and pressing their foreheads together. “I love you. I trust you.” 

“That’s all I want.” Eren smiles. “So long as you trust me, you can ignore all of the bullshit involved with tonight, right?” 

Jean really wants to believe that. He does but- 

“Promise me that you trust me. That you won’t let whatever they say or do to test you get under your skin too much because, at the end of the day, I’m all yours. Promise me.” 

“I promise.” Worst decision ever. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

In all reality, he does try his best to quell and tame that jealousy lurking underneath everything. Tries his damndest. Except, the forces that be are always working against him or he’s jinxed or it’s the fucking karma all over again. 

Whatever it is, he fucks up. 

Knows that he fucks up. 

And, no. It’s not because he doesn’t or didn’t trust Eren. Has nothing at all to do with that. But it has a lot to do with not liking Reiner. Not liking the way the bastard tested his patience with all of those little intimate touches and the whispering and the inside jabs about Eren that Jean is 100 percent certain were aimed at him (like that bit about the nipple rings being super sensitive when Eren first got them and how Reiner made sure they stayed that way after). On top of that, he had Ymir telling him shit about being Eren’s longest relationship and how she didn’t think he’d last because he “doesn’t seem like he can keep up”, which is bullshit. The type of bullshit that Eren warned him to ignore. 

But Jean doesn’t do that. 

He lets himself get sucked into the mess and then he blows up –as in, he ends up grappling with Reiner by the bar and Eren and Bertholdt break them up and then he gets this look from Eren that pisses him off because it’s all of this contained rage directed at him when- when Reiner- 

Okay. Jean knows that the whole thing was fucked up and Eren’s so pissed –just sends him home and doesn’t say anything else. 

Not that he tries for excuses or explanations or anything really. At the time, he was too mad and, well, now (four days later with not a single word from Eren)… now he’s trying to figure out how to rectify a fucking horrific situation. 

The thing is, he knows why Eren’s pissed and that has nothing to do with the semi-fight. Eren’s heated because he’s probably thinking that Jean doesn’t trust him. Plus, there’s that whole breaking of the promise. And maybe the fight has a wee bit to do with it too. Maybe. Most likely. 

Usually, when they get into a spat (which, those minor arguments and disagreements in no way compare to this colossal cluster fuck but still), he gives Eren a few hours or vice versa and then they’re calling or texting each other and meeting up and having makeup sex. Usually. This time, Jean doesn’t know how to breach the subject or approach Eren because he’s tried texting and calling and he keeps coming up with zilch but waiting is driving him fucking nuts. 

And he’s starting to think the worst –like maybe Eren realizes he can do better or he wants better or- 

Or his phone rings and it’s a number he doesn’t recognize but he answers anyway. “Yo.” 

“ _Jean?”_

Blond brows knit, “Armin?” 

“ _Oh! Good! Hi! It’s not too late to be calling, is it?”_ Armin sounds excited. 

In contrast, Jean feels a little shitty but he can’t sleep so- “No, you’re good. What’s up? Is this the phone call where the friend makes some sort of cordial arrangement for people to drop off other people’s shit right before breaking up?” Because his gut is twisting and knotting and he just wants to get this phone call over with. 

“ _No. This is the best friend phone call where I speak on behalf of Eren because he’s too damn stubborn for his own good. But I’m sure you know that.”_

“I do.” All too well. 

Armin laughs, “ _Yes. Well. About what happened on Saturday… if it makes you feel better, Eren shredded Reiner to pieces and punched him in the face but, those two have known each other for well over a decade so they’re okay. At least, they will be after Reiner keeps his promise because Eren fully expects him to apologize to you.”_

Jean frowns and stares up at his ceiling. “To be honest, I really don’t give a fuck about an apology from that dick. I just want to talk to my boyfriend and get this all straightened out already.” 

“ _Ah, that’s what I called about. Eren, see, his whole thing is about trust –he’s big on that. And he feels like you broke some sort of trust thing but I don’t think that’s it. Is it?”_

“Not even a little bit. I was a jackass because I let another jackass get under my skin. I’m human and thinking one thing while doing the opposite is part of that flawed design from time to time.” 

“ _No need to explain to me. But Eren… When he’s mad like this, the best thing to do is just ambush him on his own territory. Go to his place and do something cheesy like dinner because you know he’s a closet romantic. And then apologize and he’ll probably apologize too and all will be well. I guarantee it.”_

Jean just sits and stares. Feels a bit suspicious because- “Is this something you do often? Call up Eren’s boyfriends and try to help them get back in Eren’s good graces when they fuck up.” 

Armin snorts, “ _Fuck that. I don’t usually care because Eren’s a good judge of character and generally makes the right decisions when it comes to his relationships. But that’s not the case this time and you’re different in comparison to anyone else that he’s been with. I’ve seen the way you two are with each other and it’s- hmmm- it’s really something. You make him happy. Happier than he’s been in a very long time so, I don’t want to see that fall to waste over trivial nonsense.”_

There’s something… he doesn’t even know what to do with all of that. But he can start with- “Thanks, Armin. For the call and the impromptu pep talk.” 

“ _Any time. Good luck, Jean.”_

“Yeah.” He ends the call. 

Good luck… he doesn’t exactly need it because he has second chance miracles on his side. Those guarantee that, the next gathering of friends won’t degrade into a catastrophe. Neither will going to Eren’s place and surprising him with breakfast. 

* * *

##### 

V. 

* * *

Thanksgiving is spent in Jean’s hometown with his parents. It ends with Jean in the hospital on account of a Black Friday gone wrong –dislocated shoulder but he thanks his lucky stars because it certainly could have been worse. 

Christmas at the Governor’s Mansion… Jean sets the 1000 dollar tree on fire by accidentally knocking over a candle. And he curses karma and all that jazz because no amount of jinxing should be that awful. But it is. Or, Eren’s overprotective second father (the devil aka Levi) definitely set him up, which Jean will wholeheartedly believe until he reaches the grave. 

Their first anniversary ends with Jean’s tire blowing out on the drive up an empty mountain to a resort that he makes reservations for. They spend a full night in the car making love and eating leftovers and laughing at Jean’s theory of bad luck/karma for past misgivings. Eren actually thinks he’s onto something after carefully examining their relationship from beginning to current but he also thinks it makes what they have that much more special in the face of disaster. 

Eren’s birthday: Jean comes down with the flu and all of his well thought out plans go to waste. But Eren plays nurse and- yes. That so makes up for it. 

Jean’s birthday: Food poisoning. Horrible, horrible, food poisoning that affects both ends and leaves him with cramps and sweating and wanting to die. No amount of Eren playing nurse makes up for that. 

Before their second anniversary, they decide to move in together, as a couple. Their first place. Jean breaks his ankle while moving a couch with Reiner and trying not to scratch the Peruvian wood floors that Eren loves so much. 

It all sounds crazy –like something straight out of a cheesy movie or book or something. But he can’t make that shit up. It just happens and he just goes with it. On the bright side, nurse Eren. Enough said. 

Despite all of the bad shit that goes down whenever he tries for to do something special for/with Eren for the first time, Jean has a good feeling about tonight. See, he has a plan. 

It is as follows: he’s not going to try anything. No gimmicks or surprises or specialties. None of that. 

Eren’s sitting in the recliner with his laptop propped up on that little portable table and a pen is dangling from his mouth. He’s got his glasses on and his hair held back with a headband –he’s even wearing sweats. Somehow, he still manages to look incredibly sexy. It’s to a point where Jean wants to tug him away from work just to fuck him right there where he’s sitting. But that can wait. If everything goes his way, he’ll be getting plenty of ass for days and days to come. And they won’t be fucking. Oh no. They’ll be making love. 

Slow, sweet, and torturous. Days wrapped up in the sheets with breakfast/lunch/dinner in bed. Hours of worshipping Eren’s beautiful body –worshipping and teasing and licking- 

Jean swallows and runs his fingers through his hair. Tries to regain himself for a moment and, when he does, he stands up. It takes ten seconds to cross the room and block Eren’s light, forces mirthful green-blue eyes to stare up at him. “Here’s the thing, Ere. I didn’t plan anything special for what I’m about to do because, every time I try, the shit goes way fucking south. So… here.” He sits the small black velvet box that he’s been holding in his hand for an hour smack dab in the middle of Eren’s keyboard. Fuck it- “Yes, there’s a ring in there that I made Sasha and Mikasa help me pick out and perfect over the course of three months. And- yes. I’m asking you to marry me. To spend the rest of your life with me because I love you so fucking much I can’t do anything without thinking about you. Love you more than anyone or anything. Ever. So this is my proposal and I’m sorry-” 

The table and computer fall to the floor and papers scatter everywhere when Eren surges from the recliner and at Jean as they fall to the floor where the impact knocks the air out of Jean’s lungs but then Eren sucks out what remains with a kiss that makes Jean delirious. Whether his lightheadedness is due to lack of oxygen or elation, he’s not sure but he savors the kiss –pulls away for a breath before swallowing Eren’s tongue and eating a soft mewl that climbs up from that gorgeous throat. 

Eren manages to tear his mouth away from Jean’s and sit up. His face is red and there are tears there but he looks so fucking happy. Beautiful. “Yes.” He leans down to suck at a tender bottom lip, “God, yes.” Because he was planning to ask Jean within the year if the moron didn’t ask first so- “You have no idea how much I love you. No idea,” he mumbles through a string of sloppy and wet kisses along Jean’s jaw… neck… collar. 

Jean can’t bite back the groan that falls off his tongue when Eren starts to suckle dutifully right at the junction where shoulder meets neck. But he still gets out- “The ring. Try it.” 

And Eren stops moving and sits up and he’s grinning like a kid in a candy shop. Jean has never met someone as beautiful as Eren and every time he thinks Eren’s reached the pinnacle of perfection, he’s shown otherwise. Shown that he, apparently, can be even more. Nevertheless, he watches with a half-hooded gaze as Eren feels around and grabs the box –opens it, stares, turns it in his fingers and reads the inscription. 

And then Eren’s sniffling and handing Jean the ring, “Put it on me.” It’s a choked up whisper of a sentence. 

But Jean hears it. He sits up and takes Eren’s hand –mouths and kisses every finger diligently before settling on that ring finger. He meets that blurry sea gaze head on and then he says again, “Will you try to reach eternity with me?” 

Eren laughs and recalls late night discussions about Jean’s Jinx and how it’ll kill him before he reaches old age but he’s hoping for eternity because he wants to watch Eren grow old. “From life and beyond the grave,” which is what he always says when Jean asks him for eternity. 

Jean smiles and slides the ring on Eren’s finger –admires the way the platinum and diamonds compliment that gorgeous tan skin. “I love you.” At this point, he can’t say it enough. Can’t believe his proposal doesn’t yield broken bones or bruises or illness or (worse) the loss of the ring. 

(Later, Jean figures out that all it took to break the chain of awful firsts was commitment. It was Karma after all.) 

“Love you.” Eren can’t wait any longer. Can’t wait to have Jean’s mouth or to have Jean. 

So he doesn’t. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, now... putting Jean through all of that pays off in the end! Bah- I dunno. Well Marmar, this one was for you but I certainly haven't forgotten Ruhi, Cowdo, or MizPiz! Just give me until tomorrow and I'll knock those suckers out!
> 
> Anywho, if you dug it, drop me a line or hit that kudos button! Thanks for reading!


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